Another 'life update'

I do have a few posts in the works, but it's remiss if I don't update a little on the last 18 months. 

It's definetely been 'eventful' but I'm beginning to come to the end of a time in which I've found 'me' and I've discovered who my true friends are. 

I saw a job advert in Bus & Coach Buyer in April 2024 when I was enjoying a couple weeks away in Norfolk. After what had a been long time out of the office, it seemed like a really attractive opportunity and one in which I could use what I've learned elsewhere. It would also provide a lovely springboard in which I can settle down, put some roots in a place and have a long productive career. A good idea is that. 

I applied for the job, was interviewed for it and offered it two days later. I began there at the start of June 2024 and set about understanding the operation and the role. There is a lovely team of people there trying to do their best and on the outside it looks like a really good operation. Where it falls down is how it's controlled by the management. A polite description would include 'dysfunctional'. 

Like a lot of the modern day bus industry it elevates people to positions they have no knowledge to undertake and then acts surprised when those people fail at their jobs. They then look for others to scapegoat for those failings. They then overlook evidence as it suits and protects those people - even moving them sideways within an organisation.  

The first time it happened to me I put this down to people learning their job and not knowing the general requirements of the role into which they were elevated. The second time when it happened a matter of weeks later I assumed then that the actual issue is not one of experience but actual competence. 

This lack of support began to affect my mental and physical health.

He then sought to scapegoat me for his own failure to deliver on a very simple service change. I pointed out to him that had he actioned an email sent three weeks prior in which a screenshot of a software error message was sent, none of us would be stood here having the conversation.  

But of couse in the modern world you're not supposed to stand your ground and defend yourself. I was taught in my first job to stand my corner if I was right - and I wouldn't have the respect of Charlie had I not done so. 

My line manager's reply an hour later was to issue a formal letter demanding I attend a probationary review meeting 24 hours hence. The company chose to ignore my evidence. As my position was (made by them) untenable I resigned and returned home. An older version of me would have held on until the bitter end at great cost to my mental health. Those days are gone. 

I had kept on my flat here 'just in case things went wrong'. I have been burned more than once by this utterly broken and dysfunctional modern day bus industry at a massive cost financially and to my mental health. It is very wise to retain escape hatches when dealing with such dishonest people. 

I'm now done with the modern day bus industry and don't ever see a return. 

As this utter sh**show was kicking off my old employer asked what was I doing. 

The answer was 'not much'. 

"Oh, that's good. The college is overloaded and if you can help us move people we'd be able to pay you and stuff. "  Like, we can pay next week. 

The previous people had left me without money to live on - so I was listening intently.  And so I began helping on overloads to New College. I had one of three regular ones but could have gone pretty much anywhere with a 19 seat Mercedes Sprinter (replete with £10,000 new engine too) 

In and around all this chaos I got talking with other people who'd worked where I had. That led to things which I'd left buried for a long time being reawakened. And so begins today's journey. I went out to a night in Bridlington in October 2024 where I finally realised I was a very different person to that I was born as. The thought of that night coming to an end, and this other person going back into the box was upsetting. As was the following week. 

In my 21 years working in the bus industry I've met a lot of people. Some of those people are trans. And I have seen the mental damage that comes from fighting the person you are internally by their experiences. And so once I realised I knew there was one path I needed to take. I won't lie, it's utterly frightening. However the mental damage that will result from fighting is not something I'd like to contemplate.   

Slowly but surely I told the people I needed to tell before coming out on facebook as trans at the end of November. There's been a long list of things I've needed to change over as my name (bank, driving licence etc etc) and identity has been changed legally to my new name.  I set a date when I would begin live full time as that person and set about renewing a wardrobe. Taking that final bag of clothes to the tip is a very affirming moment.  

From January 2025 I now live and work as this person.

Not that coming out as trans fixes your financial problems. You get to be broke and fabulous! It has taken 14 months of work to get to a point where we are sort of 'at zero'. 2026 will be better on that front. 

Work was intending to make me full time from the Spring, but something very odd happened this summer gone in that private hire work (which is what payeth the costs of keeping driver/vehicle) was thin on the ground. Without a regular contract I was one of two people doing the work of one. The plan was for me to go full time once a contract had been secured. 

Having assumed that a full time wage would again be coming in a number of commitments were entered into on the assumption that the income would more than meet the outgoings. Mid July brought further bad news on that front - both work and home. The outcome of some of that will be a source of regret for a long time to come. It has shown me that someone who I assumed was a friend of longstanding is in fact nothing of the sort. 

So, from September 2025 I have been working for a minibus/taxi operation based around ten miles from home. They work for two councils, and my regular SENschool run needs a regular bus. I'm now in a Mk8 Ford Transit doing c500miles per week.   It's returned some order and structure to life. It's one of the older vehicles in the fleet but I've driven much much older in my time so to me this is an upgrade. 

Ford Transit - in monochrome.

One year apart - October 2025 (L) and October 2024 (R)

If you take your 'rite of passage companion' to work, ensure they're safely strapped into the seat...